11:15pm Full and Sleepy

Dear A,

"As is often the case, when one is ready to walk the path, the path appears."
-Taylor Mali, What Teachers Make

I so believe this is true. This is what I was trying to remember a week ago after that seminar. What finally made me think of it was what I told you tonight. The two stories you've told me that have tugged at your heart in regards to teaching, weren't about kids looking up to you as a teacher or authority figure, but as a surrogate parent. You will be a wonderful parent, and perhaps the world is showing you that path now.

On a different note, that quotation comes from Taylor Mali's book What Teachers Make, which was inspired by his poem of the same name. I brought  What Teachers Make for the gift exchange at the Christmas party last year and when someone unwrapped it they made a comment about who would bring a book as a gift to a party when other people were bringing wine etc. I think Christine ended up with it, which makes me happy. But I also bought a copy for myself and I read it in one sitting because it was quite inspirational and he spoke a lot of truth about what it's like in the teaching profession.

I need all the inspiration I can get.

Today was my last day teaching the Latin class, and we had a day of reflection on what went well and what we could have improved on during the Socratic Seminar. At the end of all of it, I said that I hoped everyone enjoyed learning about the Trojan War. One girl raised her hand (and this girl is usually disruptive and out of control) and she said, very sweetly, "Did you enjoy it?" And I paused for a long time because I was so surprised by her question.

All this time I hadn't really thought about whether or not I was enjoying it. For the past three weeks I've thought about lessons and time management and behavior and "Do Nows" and how I was going to make it interesting and fun for the kids. But I'd never thought about whether or not I was enjoying it myself. But I did enjoy it. I didn't really like going to my student teaching site before being given this responsibility because I wasn't connecting with the other teachers or students. But I loved walking into my "own" classroom and watching the unit I worked hard to create  unfold in beautiful and unexpected ways right before my eyes.

I enjoyed the successes and failures (like picking up a table yesterday and having it completely fall apart and come crashing down on my exposed foot) and being able to deviate from my plan for the sake of discussion and true learning. I realized that I wasn't really teaching the kids about the Trojan War. I was teaching them about respect, and not being afraid to question. I was teaching them to work together and carry their team through an assignment. I was teaching them how to be kind and polite and to appreciate both silence and noise. Whether or not they learned about Helen or Paris, I couldn't care less.

So I said, "Yes, Madelyn. I did enjoy it. Very much. I wouldn't want to do anything else." And she beamed and said, "Good."

Love, M