10:51pm Cold on the Inside

Dear A,

I took a senior seminar class at UCSD that had to focus on community outreach in some way. The kids in my class were specifically interested in teaching and teaching writing and so we worked at the writing studio at my college (as you know, UCSD is broken up into 6 colleges). My TA for the class, whose name escapes me, gave each of us a book at the end of the year that he thought reminded him of us in some way.

I was very touched by this idea (crazy that it took me so long to figure out that my primary love language is gifts...) and intrigued by his choice of book for me. He gave me Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk which is a compilation of short stories by David Sedaris. I was at first taken aback by the romantic reference in the title as this was during the period right after my horrendous breakup when I was in a state of complete tumult. I've always wondered if my TA could sense this in some way, or if it was just a happy coincidence.

Anyhow... I read through the book and when I came to the title story I read extra carefully, looking for any piece of romantic advice that might help mend my shattered heart. Unfortunately, the story did not offer any way to gain back my estranged love ... it was not until months and months later that I would realize the only way out of a mess like this is through, and I was not going to find any answers or secrets to happiness in anything but myself.

However, the story was charming and had a good moral, and for whatever reason it came back to me this morning. I ended up finding a reading of the story on YouTube which I thought you might like to listen to.

I believe that the point is essentially to not be too hasty to judge another person or assume that someone won't be a good companion simply because they are different. The chipmunk eventually realizes that she missed out on something potentially wonderful and beautiful by not taking the time to ask questions and appreciate the differences that the squirrel brought to their relationship. While it is wonderful to celebrate the qualities a companion has that strengthen and enhance the relationship you share, it is also equally important to celebrate and love the challenges that another person can bring, and the depth to which those challenges can take the pair.

Love, M

"When her muzzle grew more white than brown, the chipmunk forgot that she and the squirrel had nothing to talk about. She forgot the definition of jazz as well, and came to think of it as every beautiful thing she had ever failed to appreciate. The taste of warm rain, the smell of a baby, the din of a swollen river rushing past her tree, and onward to infinity." -Davis Sedaris, Chipmunk Seeks Squirrel