Dear A,
You will never believe this!
I couldn't stop thinking about the praying mantis that I rescued from my room last night. First of all, aside from the occasional fly, I haven't seen any other bugs since I've been here. The city doesn't lend itself as a habitable place for little critters like that. There is too much danger, from getting squished by a car, or not being able to find greenery to blend into, the city is no place for a praying mantis.
Natalie and I once spent some time after school talking about spirit animals (go figure) and looking up the symbolism behind the animals with which we most associated. So, I decided to do a little research about praying mantises.
First, I determined that the one in my room was a female Chinese praying mantis. I then consulted several animal symbol websites that all said a praying mantis is a symbol of peace, balance and calm. To encounter a praying mantis in your space should be taken as a message that your life has become so busy and chaotic that you can no longer hear the quiet voice that says to relax, breathe and be still.
Now, I'm not sure how I feel about animal symbolism... I'm a pretty skeptical person, and I believe that praying mantis was "meant" to find me about as much as I believe there's an old man sitting up in the clouds who controls my destiny. However, I do have an appreciation for profound coincidences, as this surely is.
Not two hours before I saw this praying mantis, I was going through an extremely rough panic attack. I was completely and totally overwhelmed by the amount of work I'm going to have to do and the very little amount of time I'll have to do it in. I was stressed out about the pressure of student teaching and starting to question if this really is the right thing for me.
So, I find it very uncanny that, in the height of my anxiety, a creature comes to me that is supposed to symbolize stillness. It's almost too perfect.
The world, my dear, works in the most wonderfully mysterious ways.
Love, M
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