Dear A,
I haven't quite decided yet whether I'm writing these letters to you or about you. I guess I've been doing a little bit of both, and it doesn't really matter. My thoughts generally oscillate between thinking of you, and thinking of things I want to tell you, so I suppose it makes sense that these letters would do the same.
I had a surreal moment today. I was walking back from taking Val and Andrew to the bus stop and I was listening to music. I've found that I fill any available silence with music these days... more than I ever have before. I listen to it when I do dishes, clean my room, read my books, workout, lay in bed, and even when I fall asleep. I guess it's just nice to have some company. Anyway, I was listening to Spotify on shuffle and walking down the street when this song came on.
Now, this song is actually pretty sad... it's about a couple that isn't happy with each other anymore and they're trying to force something that isn't working. So, he's basically asking for them to stop trying to pretend that they're something they aren't, and instead they should just be themselves. Why don't you be you, and I'll be me. The song is sad, but the music is so beautiful. And his voice is so melancholy in a really appealing way, and all of a sudden this feeling of deep satisfaction washed over me. I was walking almost like I was in a trance, and I swear I could feel you next to me.
Although the story in the song is a sad one, I think the message is very important. Even in a relationship that is working out, it's important to remember to be yourself. The moment we start trying to be something or someone we aren't just to keep the relationship afloat, is the moment when things begin to fall apart.
Thank you for always allowing me to be myself, even in my weirdest ways. Thank you for never making me feel like who I am isn't who I should be.
Love, M
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