Dear A,
I remember a lot of our conversations, but there is one that stands out in particular and it holds even more meaning after tonight's events.
We were talking about family and you told me that you were so excited to have your own kids someday because they would be yours-- they would look like you and share your blood, which is something that you do not have in common with your current family.
I remember very clearly thinking in that moment that you would make the most incredible father.
I can only imagine the subtle but persistent feeling of wanting to belong; to know who you are and where you come from. I know that sometimes you don't always feel like you belong in the family that chose you -- but that's true of all children, not just adopted ones! I wanted to have nothing to do with my father after I found out that he had been cheating on my mom for years. I did not want to be associated with anyone who could do such a horrible thing. Not that I'm trying to compare my life to yours in any way... but we all have issues with the group of people we are expected to love no matter what simply because they are the ones we share a roof with and travel to visit for the holidays.
Whatever family you end up having in the future, whoever's husband and father you end up being, they will be so lucky to have you. Yes, they'll have to put up with your stubbornness. Yes, they'll have to make sure not to accidentally put a banana in your smoothie or interrupt you while you're writing. But they'll also be the recipients of your strength and patience. They'll learn how to budget their time and finish what they start. They'll learn to follow sports. They will be loved.
They'll be proud to point to you and say, "That's my dad!"
Love, M
No comments:
Post a Comment