I think about death a lot. Is that weird? I'm sure I'm not the only one. I wish I didn't think about it as much as I did, but I think it scares me because it's something I can't control. I wonder what it feels like to die. I wonder if it's quick, or if it takes a long time. I guess it all depends on how you go.
Mostly I'm afraid of dying before I'm ready. I don't want to die until I feel like I've done all the living I want to do. But when I think of where I am, and all the potential time ahead of me, I wonder how anyone makes it 70 or 80 or 90 years in this world. That's so much time! But is it enough? I guess that's why people turn to religion... because we're scared of being gone when the lights go out, and we're greedy; we always want more. More time.
When I was in high school, I made a list of all the things I want to do before I die:
1. Become a regular somewhere
2. Have a picture published
3. Finish writing one book
4. See the aurora borealis
5. Ride a train across the country
6. Go parasailing
7. Get married
8. Meet someone who writes a song for me
9. See the Great Wall
10. Go to South Africa
11. Pick a career
12.Change someone’s life
13. Donate blood
14. See a kangaroo
15. Grow a garden
16. Set foot in all 50 states
17. Stay up for 24 straight hours
18. Climb Mt. Whitney
19. Ride an elephant
20. Swim with dolphins
21. Ride on a motorcycle
22. Learn Italian
23. See Everest
24. Have children
25. Take an art class
26. Visit Walden Pond
27. Hold a monkey
28. Save a life
29. Fall in love
30. Live in a foreign country
31. Travel to all 7 continents
32. Own a horse
33. Write a blog
34. Participate in Habitat for Humanity
35. Find a purpose
I wonder how many of these I'll actually accomplish. I've already crossed off quite a few! Some are definitely more important to me than others. As you'll notice, most of them center around traveling (I guess even my 15 year old self recognized my desire to see as much of the world as I can) which is, as you know, one of my greatest loves. The others are mostly about the family I hope to have.
I've been trying to think of anything I would want to add, now that I'm older and have had more experiences. But I can't. I guess I knew myself pretty well back then.
I wonder what would be on your list?
Love, M
No comments:
Post a Comment